You know what is even more strange? By Tuesday (October 16), the pain was gone. I still thought about him occasionally. But I wasn't moping around like I was on Sunday. I didn't cry. I just went back to my usual feeling down. Not heartbroken. But after my dream, I really started to miss him. I wanted to talk to him. There's still a certain safety I feel when thinking or talking about him. It's really hard to explain. It's not like we had an official relationship, but whatever we had... The "love" we claimed we shared, there was something in that. Like I was half of something big. Half of the love that we both shared.

And I want that back.