Hi.

So, I think I've pretty muchly given up on this blog. The world didn't end. And the only real reason I made this blog was to chart every day of 2012 to see if I could spot any apocalyptic signs. But, guess what.

The world didn't fucking end.

Unfortunately. Because boy, would I have liked to end. And not just let the worthless, selfish, fucking stupid, retarded, asinine world to go on turning.

I hate people. And I hate the human race. I'd like to think I'm different, that I can make a difference... But I'm not much better. But still, I'm not the of the lowest level of stupidity and fucking idiocy that inhabit this fucking useless planet.

You know what I think the point of living is? To die without making a fucking fool of yourself. To die without just completely fucking up the lives and planet around you. To just kill yourself the fucking instant you're born.

Why am I feeling so cynical? I don't even know. I'm just so sick of life. And this world. And this fucking school.

I graduated from Herkimer. And now, I'm at fucking SUNY Poor Choice. Or, Purchase College, as they like to call themselves.

It's a fucking shithole. With fucking shit people who go here. Not to mention, some of the fucking worthless professors... (Well, only one bad professor that I have. The other three aren't bad. In fact, two of them are pretty awesome.)

But it's just everything I'm forced to deal with right now, and everything I've encountered the past few weeks, that makes me not want the world to keep on going. I wanted nature to throw us an apocalypse. But no, the world just had to keep going.

And, I'm not saying I should be watched for any kind of anti-social actions. I'm not going to do that. That does no good to anyone or anything. I mean, it's just a tragedy, and it breaks my heart to see people have to go through those kind of massacres. And, it's another reason I hate humanity. To think that we have individuals in our own species that could do those kind of things is... Disturbing. I'm pretty sure cats, dogs, dolphins, or even monkeys don't go off on shooting sprees. But humans do. Why? Why are we so sick, twisted, and dark? Some people are really, purely, evil. But why? Animals aren't like that. That's why I don't want to be a part of the human race anymore. All our capabilities of reason and logic really don't seem to matter much in the fact that we live in a cruel, worthless world. There's too much greed and pain that exist. So no, being human isn't worth it.

It's ironic that we call our moral character our "humanity". And barbaric tendencies are "inhumane" But really, greed and deceit and selfishness should be called our humanity. Because I want that humanity taken out of me. I don't want to be human anymore. I want to be a fucking alien or an animal or something. Anything but human.

Preferably a cat. They are soft and cute and cuddly. Already, after being home this weekend, I miss my kitties. And, of course, my puppy.