It's the strangest feeling to love reality so much that I don't want to live in a dream. For the first time ever, I want to actually do something to make something work. I actually feel the ambition to make an effort.

I'm just afraid that I'm putting too much on one thing. Something so fragile that could end at any moment. What happens if that happens?

My happiness should not depend on the love from someone else.

But it's his love that is giving me this spark of hope. And you have no idea how absolutely amazing, how purely perfect this feels.

I may have loved in the past, but I have never been in love. Not like this.

And it's never been reciprocated in this way. I almost feel like this is real.

I want this to be forever. Because he is everything I want, and everything I need, and everything I never knew I wanted or needed. He's everything.

It seems too good to be true. Something has to be wrong. It was almost easy. It really is easy to love him. It's scary as I realize how much he means to me. But the feelings come naturally. I thought love was harder than this?

The only hard part is trusting that I could mean anything to him. I'm afraid that when he gets to really know me, I'm going to disappoint him.

Is this what makes love hard, or am I complicating something that should be so much easier?

He said we'll figure this out together. That, in itself, is another terrifying concept. Working out a relationship with another human being.

But tonight, I will actually fall sleep, not wishing to be someone else or to be in another life. I don't know if I know how to handle this. It feels weird.