God, it’s been so long since I was on this little computer. Do I miss it? Yeah, somewhat. It’s so little! The keyboard isn’t as good as my new one. I used to like it, but now it just sounds clunky. It’s hard to explain.

Music is great! If I could go back and re-do my life, or at least re-plan my college education, I’d go to Purchase first. Double-major in Creative Writing and French. Minor in maybe computer science, something music, or both. The only downfall would be I would never have met Jess. I wouldn't want Jess not in my life. She's my bestest buddy. So I guess the only good thing about screwing up my college education and not getting everything I wanted out of it is that I get an amazing friend from it. A friend I don't always deserve.

I really did screw up my college education. I'm only getting writing out of it. Not French, like I always dreamed. Nothing with computers or graphics or web design like I really wanted. I didn't even do anything with music, like I recently thought would have been cool. I've really wasted these five years studying shit I couldn't care less about, minus the writing. Sometimes I hate myself and my fucked up decisions.

But to keep myself from crying and stressing over the shit I've done, I have to believe that I did it all for a reason. Or I was influenced or whatever for a reason. That somehow, in the long run, it will work out for the best. I mean, I got a bestest buddy out of starting, and fucking up, at Herkimer. Maybe not getting the French and/or music degrees will somehow do something for me in the future.

I really don't think so, though. And it really depresses me to think that I didn't get all out of Purchase that I wanted to.