It's not my fault that I'm so unhappy all the time. My mind's been trained to feel depressed, and because that's what I'm used to, it's what makes me feel most comfortable. Being happy feels nice, but I don't like it for too long.

But I think what's important is that I'm conscious of this, and that I'm actually taking the steps to not be so unhappy all the time. That has to count for something.

So when my parents yell at me for always being so unhappy and pessimistic all the time... I wish they would know that I'm trying. Life hasn't been easy for me, and I'm still learning to move past it. I wish they could be more patient sometimes.

Actually, I think the fact that they're still there for me and and definitely love me means that they are being patient.

On a side note, senior project is going to kill me and I'll be dead by May!