We bury my grandmother tomorrow. She passed away January 21, and we're burying her tomorrow. I don't want to do this. It's hard to believe she's really gone. I've avoided their house because I don't want to acknowledge that she's gone. I've been neglecting my grandfather, though. It's fucking hard. Losing Pop-Pop was hard, but I didn't have to face it because I didn't have to go to his house and directly feel his absence. I mean, it's hard enough that he isn't at any family functions, but it's not as bad as it would be if I had to go to his house. But going to Grampy's house, I can't do it. I did a couple times after Grammy's passing, but I was still numb. I was still taking pain killers. Her death has settled, but going back... I feel horrible that I can't face him but I just can't. Losing her has been so hard. I knew it would never be easy, but I wasn't prepared for it to be this difficult.